I jumped the gun calling out Yung Berg's Bougie Banton team in the week 4 preview. Basically, I thought she had thrown in the towel. Beanie Sigel's "Feel It In The Air" solidified that in my mind. Emo rapping over a beautiful beat? How does that get anyone pumped up? But I was living in a different era. I was ignoring my surroundings.
To sum it up perfectly, I forgot about "Marvin's Room."
Drake droning on like a simp about love lost, spending entirely too much time hating on other dudes (the bar is over 37 seconds of a man's life. He shattered it). Bomani Jones nailed it. Big Ghost nailed it. Fake vulnerability, empty emotion, general softness (pause).
And victory. Because Drake is really doing it right now. He's one of the few artists moving units. He's getting tour dough. And Yung Berg saw this. Saw this "emotion," and decided it was her only out. Puffing her chest out through Week 3 netted her zero love, zero wins. It really made me harken back to the below scene from The Wire, about 1:04 in...
The game is the same. It still comes down to the same things. But it did get more fierce with this emo bullshit. And we better react. I'm already working on my pregame music. Mac ft. Mystikal - "Murda Murda Kill Kill" out.
This week? No beef with Fabolous but my BMore Careful boys may have a concert in their living room this weekend -
Skillshare, favored by 10.5, took a hard L to Bougie. Her De boys woke up to combine for 28 points and Ray Rice was one of the only bright points of the Baltimore offense (or offense in general in the Ravens - Jets tilt). In the meantime, Skillshare got 12 points total from its WRs and was done by the end of Sunday Night Football. Yung Berg is off the schneid, even with Big Ben continuing to be on the straight and narrow.
Which left us with the other remaining defeated team: Re Up Gang. The Re Up team put up a respectable number this week. They would have beaten 6 of the teams in the Haus League with their 115 total. But they wouldn't beat Eddie and Cytherea's Ark. Not with Michael Vick finally doing the good type of Michael-Vick-type-things. Even in losing to the usually woeful 49ers, Vick was still Vick, racking up 33 points. Other positive surprises for Eddie's crew were Beanie Wells' 31. And Megatron is still Megatron. We found this picture of him after the game -
Would you want to tackle that? Didn't think so.
On Pusha T and Quizno's front, your humble league commissioner strongly recommends against starting players who were last good in 2009 or before. Yes, we're referencing Burleson, Boldin, and Tomlinson (3 carries for -3 yards for the fake LT). The good news? Week 5 has Complex as your opponent and Phil Rivers gets to handle the Denver Broncos. Again.
I'll admit I was a little off with my prediction of BMore Careful winning 173 to 90. But shockingly, not too far off as my boys overcame a horrendous game by Joe Flacco to scratch out a win against Team Brady and Welker. It wasn't the 73 points they gave to Isenberg last week, but a pedestrian (for them) 46.5. Instead, Isenberg got a little help from the rest of his team for a change. 50 total from Forte and Gore? Not enough as Hakeem Nicks, Steve Smith, and the Ravens D led the way. 32 points for Ravens D this week was ridiculous, and even crazier in person. Word to Jack Harbaugh, who nearly threw down with our very own Hawaii Mike.
It was all good just a week ago for the G Series. Then 7 of his 9 players scored 10 points or less in a tough faceoff with the shockingly high-scoring Cats with Gats. The line of G Series -60 actually ended up being closer to Aaron Rodgers' total for the day (53). Yeah, that happened. A combined 6 TDs bailed the Cats out of mediocre performances by Reggie Bush and Peyton Hillis. The G Series' loss of Jamaal Charles is really starting to hurt now as we see Mark Ingram at 6 points just isn't going to do it.
One team remains undefeated: Lando. He's been flying high since Comeback Season dropped. He noted the power of going Charmin-soft like Drake early. Can't even be mad. Lando's box score was the only place Tony Romo was successful this weekend (25 pts), and his Arian Foster ("The Nation" if you ask Eddie) pick finally bore fruit. On the other side, Naveen's Foursquare squad continues its fall from grace. Note to foursquare: Antonio Gates is hurt, having scored 11 points all season, all in week one. Fred Jackson continues to impress, though, and Drew Brees continues to be sneaky-middling.
This will be short. Hawaii and the LTD+ crew won again. With 81.5 points. This box score demands no respect and makes me hate matchup-based fantasy football. Ugliest 2-2 possible, but a W is a W. 64.5 for Complex is just a shame. Everyone played, everyone scored, nobody did that well.
The standings after Week 4 -
One defeated team, one undefeated team left. I doubt that changes as we approach Week 5.
Finally, week 4 of Oh Shit, I left him on my bench?
A lot more svelte this week as we're seeing which teams have depth and which teams just may stink.
- Cam Newton (QB, Carolina) - 33 points (Lando started Tony Romo, 25 pts)
- Pierre Garcon (WR, Indianapolis) - 27 points (LTD started Devin Hester, 6 pts)
- Eric Decker (WR, Denver) - 19.5 points (BMore Careful started Felix Jones, 8.5 pts)
- Ryan Torain (RB, Washington) - 19 points (Foursquare started Jeremy Maclin, 8.5 pts)
- Colt McCoy (QB, Cleveland) - 19 points (BMore Careful started Joe Flacco, 2 pts)
- Jordy Nelson (WR, Green Bay) - 17.5 points (Skillshare started Dexter McCluster, 4.5 pts)
- Brandon Lloyd (WR, Denver) - 17 points (Foursquare started Deion Branch, 6.5 pts)
- Michael Bush (RB, Oakland) - 15 points (Complex started Tim Hightower, 2 pts)
- Sidney Rice (WR, Seattle) - 14.5 points (Skillshare started Lance Moore, 7.5 pts)
- Darrius Heyward-Bey - 13 points (Bougie Banton started Nate Washington, 7 pts)
Week 5 preview coming this Friday. Big matchups on the horizon include Lando vs. BMore Careful and Cytherea's Ark vs. G Series.