- Skillshare 117, Bougie 98
- The below song will be next week's motivation music for Bougie
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
- Fred Jackson (RB, Buffalo) - 23.5 points (Foursquare started Johnathan Stewart, 8.5 pts)
- Lance Moore (WR, New Orleans) - 22.5 points (Skillshare started BenJarvus Green-Ellis, 1 pt)
- Jay Cutler (QB, Chicago) - 21 points (Re Up Gang started Phil Rivers, 6 pts)
- Nate Washington (WR, Tennessee) - 19 points (Bougie Banton started DeSean Jackson, 4 pts)
- Brandon Pettigrew (TE, Detroit) - 16.5 points (Bougie Banton started Tony Gonzalez, 8 pts)
- Felix Jones (RB, Dallas) - 16.5 points (BMore Careful started Steve Smith, 2pts)
- Greg Olsen (TE, Carolina) - 16.5 points (Skillshare started Scott Chandler, 8 pts)
- Dwayne Bowe (WR, Kansas City) - 14 points (Cytherea's Ark started A.J. Green, 4 pts)
- Julio Jones (WR, Atlanta) - 14 points (Lando started Kenny Britt, 0.5 pts. Makes sense, but now Lando's Britt'less and vulnerable)
- Brandon Jacobs (RB, NY Giants) - 14 points (Cats with Gats started Seattle's Mike Williams, goose egg. We doubt the Cats have seen how bad Seattle is)
- Plaxico Burress (WR, NY Jets) - 12.5 points (Isenberg started James Starks, -0.5 pts)
- Pierre Garcon (WR, Indianapolis) - 11 points (LTD started Hines Ward, 2.5 pts)
- Dustin Keller (TE, NY Jets) - 10.5 points (Superiority Complex started Kellen "I'm a SOLDIER!" Winslow, 3 pts)
Friday, September 23, 2011
Elena took Roethlisberger because she loves his bird game, but he could actually do something for her this week against the Colts. Of course, there should be a lot of Rashard Mendenhall, but I think Big Ben has a good day and puts up some touchdowns. Ray Rice is going to eat Rams for lunch, Deangelo is going to have one of his best days of the year, and Darren Sproles has been a beast. If Elena gets a good day from Nate Washington and Tony Gonzalez, I think she could pull off the upset of the year up till now. I would predict a Bergeron victory, but Lando has 3 good matchups against New Orleans and Tolbert gets KC... Lando wins 135 to 125.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
- Matt Ryan (QB, Atlanta) - 27 points (LTD started Mark Sanchez, 17 pts)
- Fred Jackson (RB, Buffalo) - 26 points (Foursquare started Jonathan Stewart, 14 pts)
- Tony Gonzalez (TE, Atlanta) - 23.5 points (Bougie Banton started Brandon Pettigrew, 0.5 pts)
- AJ Green (WR, Cincinnati) - 23 points (Cytherea's Ark started Santana Moss, 14.5 pts)
- Rob Gronkowski (TE, New England) - 22 points (G Series started Aaron Hernandez, 15.5 pts, lost handcuff roulette)
- Dustin Keller (TE, NYJ) - 19 points (Complex started Kellen Winslow, 6 pts)
- Devery Henderson (WR, New Orleans) - 17.5 points (Cats with Gats started Mike Thomas, 3.5 pts)
- Willis McGahee (RB, Denver) - 16.5 points (BMore Careful started Felix Jones, 2.5 pts)
- Deion Branch (WR, New England) - 16 points (Foursquare started Brandon Lloyd, 0 points)
- Ben Tate (RB, Houston) - 15 points (Lando started Arian Foster, 4 pts. Pretty logical)
- James Starks (RB, Green Bay) - 12.5 points (Isenberg started Plaxico Burress, 0 pts)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
- BMore Careful over Bougie Banton (115.5 - 89) - Yung Berg misses philandering Big Ben. Married Ben stinks.
- Lando over Skillshare (167 - 91) - After mocking the league and who everyone was drafting via a live Google Docs spreadsheet throughout the entire draft, Lando backed it up, stacking up the week-high point total. Part of it was good luck (Mike Tolbert?!?) while other parts were solid players producing like they should (we see you, Andre Johnson). On Skillshare's end, we must repeat something. You can't trust Donovan McNabb.
- Complex over Cytherea's Ark (127 - 83.5) - Complex said it best. Eddie's reach for Megatron worked out to the tune of 23 points. His reach for LeGarrette Blount didn't. Drafted as the hardest dude in the league (so said Mr. Huang), Mr. Blount may need some motivational music this week. Complex, on the other hand, saw an underperforming Matt Schaub get bailed out by LeSean McCoy and a never-to-be-seen-again showing by the 49ers D. Don't count on them playing Tarvaris and the Seahawks every week.
- G Series over Team LTD (100.5 - 61.5) - The G Series' Smith may not want to rely on just over 100 winning the matchup ever again. But up against the already splintering Team LTD, Matthew Stafford and Aaron Hernandez's showings were enough. LTD has a hard road ahead of it, though, as nobody on the bench showed up, either. That may be why they're already +31 underdogs heading into a week 2 matchup with Cytherea's Ark.
- Chad Henne (QB, Miami) - 37 points (Bougie Banton started Big Ben, 7 pts)
- Steve Smith (WR, Carolina) - 33 points (BMore Careful started Joe Addai, 5 pts)
- Reggie Bush (RB, Miami) - 18.5 points (Cats started Brandon Jacobs, 2 pts)
- Jets D / ST - 21 points (Re Up Gang started the Chargers, 8 pts)
- Jordy Nelson (WR, Green Bay) - 16 points (Skillshare started Sid Rice, goose egg)
- Cadillac Williams (RB, St. Louis) - 15.5 points (Complex started Rashard Mendenhall, 2 pts)
- Stevie Johnson (WR, Buffalo) - 14 points (G Series started Roddie White, 10 pts. Totally defensible)
- Deion Branch (WR, New England) - 12.5 points (Foursquare started Jeremy Maclin, 2.5 pts)
- AJ Green (WR Cincinnati) - 10.5 pts (Cytherea's Ark started Dwayne Bowe, 2 pts. Again, pretty defensible)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
So, this is the Haus League. A NYC Fantasy Football League featuring the below:
1) LTD - Hawaii Mike and Friends
2) Gatorade - Michael Smith
3) Food Network - Brian Lando
4) Sports Writer - Elena Bergeron
5) Re-Up Gang - Pusha-T, Doug Dozier, Ferris aka @fluxuryb
6) Wieden and Kennedy - Michael Burch
7) Complex - Noah and Jack Erwin
8) Baohaus - Eddie Huang
9) Four Square - Naveen
10) Skillshare - Malcolm Ong
11) No Reservations - Helen Cho, Jennifer Williams, Nicola Linge, Kate Guhl
12) No Mas - Chris Isenberg
Winner gets 3 seats from The Sporting News to any NY Yankees game in 2012. 4 rows back from home plate naw mean? Settings for the league: QB, 2 WR, 2 RB, 1 Flex, TE, K, DEF all hosted on ESPN.
RESULTS FROM THE DRAFT HERE
The Draft was hilarious from jump. The Re-Up Gang representative called in from V.A. saying "Yo, I'ma be a few minutes late cause I'm at Quizno's." No doubt son, I like my shit toasted too. The No Reservations crew rolled mad deep with 4 people and then proceeded to take every white person available. For real, their team name was supposed to be Cats with Gats, but we vetoed that choice, henceforth, they are Wonder Bread.
Quote of the night belongs to Elena Bergeron aka Yung Berg because she always be gettin her chain snatched: After telling her that "the bottom of your draft is dope." Berg says to me, "My bottom is good, my top is good, so don't worry about the middle." Apparently she named her trap "Neil Rackers" cause that's what got taken in the middle...
Somewhere around the 10th Round, Isenberg exclaims, "Shit, this is a NFL Draft preview guide!" Yes, he bought a 5 month old magazine that would have prepared him for the draft in April, good shit dun. haha.
But some of the best comedy came with the picks... We'll go round by round for the sports fans
The first reach was Re-Up Gang picking Michael Turner, but I liked the pick. There aren't that many sure bet running backs this year and Michael Turner is a sure thing when healthy. Yes, he usually limps through the last 1/3 of the season but Arian Foster already has a gimpy hamstring, Chris Johnson just signed, and Michael Vick has small children playing center and guard.
Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady went ahead of Drew Brees. Every magazine is ranking Rodgers #1 at QB, but I disagree. Last year he outscored Brees by a tiny margin largely cause of Brees' INT's, but I don't see that happening again. Brees throws for more yards/TDs and with Ingram has an even better running back committee.
Isenberg set off Round 2 by asking, "Is Frank Gore injured?" When is Frank Gore not injured? He is like Jenna Jameson. He always tears his vagina but not before he gets you 1500 total yards from scrimmage. Cho then of course took the best available white running back: Peyton Hillis. Great choice!
I reached and went for Megatron aka Calvin Johnson. Clearly, Andre Johnson and Roddy White should come off the board first, but I wanted to roll the dice. I think Stafford/Johnson are going to have break out years and Megatron wasn't going to make it back around so I took him.
Burch then REALLY reached and went for Felix Jones... I like him, but usually in the 5th Round. This was also the round that Lando and Gatorade really made their moves. Other people fucked up not taking Andre Johnson and Roddy White so they benefitted. Reminds of the years when Deuce McAlister or Jamal Lewis would fall to the 12th pick and pretty much whoever had him had a leg up.
This round also really changed the draft because people made a run on quarterbacks: Brees, Rivers, Rothelisberger, and Ryan all went.
With 7 quarterbacks off the board, Lando/Complex/and Skillshare all went QB. While I really like Romo this year, I felt if Lando stuck to his script and grabbed Matt Forte or Larry Fitzgerald, he could have won the league right there. But, then again, if Romo outscores Brees or Brady, well, that's a steal.
That left only Gatorade and I without quarterbacks so I figured I'd sit out the quarterback run and grab either Josh Freeman, Eli Manning, or Matthew Stafford late since most people wouldn't go 2 QBs before rounding out the roster. So, I took the hardest mother fucker in football: LeGarette Blount. POW.
I really liked Re-Up Gang's pick of Larry Fitzgerald and Burch's Hakeem Nicks pick.
Isenberg closed and opened round 4 really well with Santonio Holmes and then Matt Forte. In my opinion, they are both low-end #1 or high-end #2 guys at their position. Very solid 3rd and 4th round picks.
Then there was a run on people who have slept with Kim Kardashian as Miles Austin and Reggie Bush came off the board back-to-back. We tried to get Naveen from Four Square to draft Ray-J but he took Reggie Wayne instead.
Burch also made an interesting pick this round. If Jahvid Best and Mike Vick are both healthy, he probably wins the league this year even though he's a little weak at WR depth.
I feel the talent at RB drops off significantly after Ahmad Bradshaw and Gatorade made a great pick in the beginning of the 5th taking him. I had Tim Hightower all ready to go in my queue when BAM, Complex takes him right before me. Heartbreak... then what usually comes after heart break, good sex and V.D. = Vernon Davis.
Skillshare had a nice pick towards the end of the round taking The Law Firm: Benjarvus Green-Ellis.
Isenberg again rocked the boat and took Josh Freeman... Really? He already took Tom Brady in the 1st and he takes Freeman in the 6th. I have to admit, I had my eye on Freeman and Isenberg knew so he's dangling the man as trade bait... we'll see.
Cho and Friends then went back to the well and took best available white person at WR, Austin Collie. Re-Up Gang then pulled an Isenberg and also doubled up on QBs taking Jay Cutler.
Lando grabbed Jimmy Graham and made a lot of people sad. Seems like Graham is the guy most people are stashing as their sleeper TE.
This is where it starts to get tough. Starters are few and far between, but Complex made a great pick in Kellen Winslow. Lando took Kenny Britt, Four Square took Maclin, Skillshare took Sidney Rice, Isenberg took Plaxico and I took Santana Moss. After that round, the only leget starting WR left was Malcolm Floyd.
Oh yea, the No Rez homies took Cedric Benson this round. AWESOME.
Finally, the staring contest for QBs between Gatorade and I ended. I broke the seal taking Eli Manning and Gatorade then took Matthew Stafford. Well played homie. Both of us were waiting for either Eli or Stafford to come off the board and if one of them did, we'd jump on it. I really like Stafford but since I already had Megatron, I figured I'd hedge my bets and take Eli.
Isenberg again had a nice pick with James Starks and Hawaii Mike snagged CJ Spiller to close out the round. If Buffalo ever figures out how to use the kid, he will be nasty.
This is where shit got real stupid. Elena Bergeron took her MANS Neil Rackers aka "the middle" and Burch made the only good pick of the round: Lee Evans. I had him stashed and think that across Anquan Boldin with Joe Flacco throwing him the ball, Lee Evans is finally going to go ape shit. In a strange way, Lee Evans' career is mirroring Chris Chambers. Fast, acrobatic, WR who never got in a good place till late.
I would continue recapping but for real, no one wants to hear about people drafint Larod Stephens Howling or "The Jaccuzzi" Jacquez Rodgers.
FYI, Elena tells us Marques Colston is pronounced "Marcus" henceforth, I will spell my name Eqqie but you can call me Eddie.